Feeling discouraged as of late. Its been a really rough month in terms of school. Losing years worth of work on my flash drive, work that I need to flash drive really threw me off track. Messed with my head, and as caused me to stumble, and struggle to get back on track. With this all happening during PCN week, the week I said bye to my year long internship, and the week I started my new internship, I was overwhelmed. I still am. The program itself has a lot for us to do in these final four weeks, but on top of that I had to deal with this shit. My mentor has also been busy, as has my supervisor, so I’m not feeling all the support I should be getting. Don’t get me wrong, they are great… they have just not been the most helpful in terms of what the fuck I need to do to graduate. They keep telling me I will be fine, but I would rather them tell me how the fuck I am going to graduate. On top of that I have to edit my entire portfolio again because its shit and I missed my fucking meeting that was set to talk about it, because I missed the e-mail that gave me the time and date of the meeting…I just feel like its one thing on top of another. And then Oh, God job applications… asdkjlsadklajsdl I just want to break down and cry cause I feel like I’m never going to graduate. 

…But then I see this quote. Its been my lock screen for the past few months. “The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go. INSTEAD of how far they have gotten.” And I think about everything. These past four years. From the second semester of my senior year, finding out I wasn’t going to my at the time “dream school.” And I think about my time at MC… how much I hated it, but how I just kept pushing through so that I could graduate from MC in 2 years, get my Associates and attend UMD. I think about all the frustrations and lows I had in that year. And I think about my time at UMD. The friends I have made, the late nights, the long papers, everything that I had to do to get to this point. The tears, the anxiety attacks, the prayers. And thats when I remember, oh yeah. I can do this. Because look how far i have gotten. Look at the shit - the actual shit - I had to go through to get to this point. I didn’t think I would make it to this time of my life a couple years ago. But here I am. Literally 2 weeks - FOURTEEN DAYS - 2 weeks away from graduation. Yeah, I’m gonna have to stay up later than i would like to especially during my take over week, yeah i’m going to have to sacrifice going to different events, but 14 days. I can do this. I’m gonna graduate, I’m gonna get a job. I am going to be an adult. Mentality is key. Mentality is everything.